I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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