And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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