she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I will pee on everything he values.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
