Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
