He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
