tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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