Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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