He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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