just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
