Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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