My hair reeks of homosexuality.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
