i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
