she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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