That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
