I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
