i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i drank out of a bidet.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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