that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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