you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
