Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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