I skipped work to stalk him.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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