Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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