I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Randomize
