The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
