erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
