with your own penis?
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
