Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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