my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
