Where is the hickey?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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