As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
