Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
