I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You took a bar mat shot.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
