Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
