I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
