Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
