I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
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