I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
