She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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