This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
