There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
