It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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