so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
