I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
