I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
