She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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