I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Congratulations! We have a period
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
