i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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