it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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