TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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