So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
