ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I am available for nakedness
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
