She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
